How can I want to succeed JUST FOR ME?

I was always an over achiever who was like a puppet on my parents "do more, do better" strings. I felt that they would finally love me if I got more A's, got into better colleges, made more money, married a better guy etc. Now I'm 37, divorced and completely burnt out. I now have serious panic attacks and performance anxiety just thinking about trying to "be perfect" again. Is there any way I can learn how to start trying to be successful FOR ME - to make me happy. I've got a lot a great ideas and things I want to do - but I've actually become afraid of success. Any ideas? Book recommendations maybe?